Mindfulness and the Car Radio

Writing can be a very lonely vocation. The struggle to craft words that faithfully describe thoughts, an epiphany, musings, a deeply formulated conviction . . . and effectively communicate even an approximation of the idea to the reader . . . well, it can be excruciating and exhausting. The process does not even begin to cover the vulnerability exposed of the words just lain in wireless space; that space where the radio waves of Wi-Fi tech make all information—good or bad—available anytime anywhere.

A writer has to write. Thoughts and ideas must get written and dispersed. But those thoughts and ideas are a part of the person who writes—they are a part of what makes me, me. So if the reader flippantly comments with a criticism, replies out of anger, or (even worse) doesn’t like my writing, it hurts. Here is where I must engage the mindfulness practice of holy indifference, holding the words loosely with the understanding that God will do with them what God wills—and I am being faithful to God’s work in my life.

The reader, then, is responsible to engage the practice of spiritual reading—taking time to breathe and to listen.

That is why when Howie brought the Twenty One Pilots song, “Car Radio,” to my attention, we both made the connection to our need for disconnection. In the case of the artist—his car radio stolen—he found that in silence, the “quiet is sometimes violent . . . forced to deal with what I feel.” And forced to see who he truly is . . . and linger there.

Here is the song and lyrics. Linger with me. And trust that what you will find about who you are truly is one who images the very being of God.

Car Radio

“Car Radio”

I ponder of something great
My lungs will fill and then deflate
They fill with fire
Exhale desire
I know it’s dire
My time today

I have these thoughts
So often I ought
To replace that slot
With what I once bought
‘Cause somebody stole
My car radio
And now I just sit in silence

Sometimes quiet is violent
I find it hard to hide it
My pride is no longer inside
It’s on my sleeve
My skin will scream
Reminding me of
Who I killed inside my dream
I hate this car that I’m driving
There’s no hiding for me
I’m forced to deal with what I feel
There is no distraction to mask what is real
I could pull the steering wheel

I have these thoughts
So often I ought
To replace that slot
With what I once bought
‘Cause somebody stole
My car radio
And now I just sit in silence

I ponder of something terrifying
‘Cause this time there’s no sound to hide behind
I find over the course of our human existence
One thing consists of consistence
And it’s that we’re all battling fear
Oh dear, I don’t know if we know why we’re here
Oh my,
Too deep
Please stop thinking
I liked it better when my car had sound

There are things we can do
But from the things that work there are only two
And from the two that we choose to do
Peace will win
And fear will lose
There’s faith and there’s sleep
We need to pick one please because
Faith is to be awake
And to be awake is for us to think
And for us to think is to be alive
And I will try with every rhyme
To come across like I am dying
To let you know you need to try to think

I have these thoughts
So often I ought
To replace that slot
With what I once bought
‘Cause somebody stole
My car radio
And now I just sit in silence

Faith is to be alive.

Breathe. In, two, three, four, five. Out, two, three, four, five.

Be still.

Breathe.

And know.

Breathe.

That God. Is.

You can find more on mindfulness spiritual practices in my book, Leading Together: Mindfulness and the Gender Neutral Zone. bit.ly/justLTM

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